I once had an elaborate plan to make Bow a chain mail hammock. Why? Because Bow destroys most everything he touches. He has gone through a lot of hammocks over the years, and he never shows any remorse.
This photo of me and Bow on our now defunct hammock first appeared in this hub: http://aya-katz.hubpages.com/hub/Photoworks-is-Closing
Bow is now nine and a half years old and counting. He still destroys things, and he’s still not sorry. You can give him a blanket to sleep with, and if he’s ready to go to sleep, he won’t harm the blanket. But if you leave a blanket with him during the day, when he doesn’t “need it” he will start tearing it up just for the fun of the thing.
A lot of people say: “Really, what is the big deal? After all, he’s just a chimp.” The big deal is that if he never learns to conserve resources, he is never going to be self-sufficient, and if he is never self-sufficient, then he won’t grow up to be free.
Like every responsible parent, I have to think about what will happen to Bow long after I am gone. To that end, I always planned to teach him the means to support himself.
He may yet rise to the challenge. It’s too early to say. He’s not yet ten years old. But if in another ten years, he has not made significant strides in this direction, then he can look forward to a lifetime of dependence on others. As long as he doesn’t learn to save something for tomorrow, he will never be his own master, and he will never get to call the shots.
It’s not lack of intelligence. It’s a temperamental issue, and it’s not what you’re going to hear people discuss, when they talk about the “chimpanzee problem.” There are many chimpanzees living in the United States today. None of them are free.
Considering the hardship of being confined to a cage all the time, I have come to the conclusion that investing in a chain mail hammock for Bow does not make sense. A chain mail hammock would be very expensive, and the idea behind it was supposed to be that it could last Bow for a lifetime, because he could not destroy it no matter how hard he tried. But… Bow is very good at finding ways of destroying things, even things made of metal. And it doesn’t make sense to invest in something indestructible, when Bow has to be supervised every waking moment, anyway.
I want the hammock in order to replace the old, tattered bear that Bow sleeps on. I give Bow the bear and the blanket every night before he goes to bed. If there were a light weight inexpensive hammock that I could put up at the end of the day and take down in the morning, that’s all we really need.
Fortunately, right now on Amazon, there’s a hammock that’s selling for $1.71. I think that’s a real bargain! It’s called the Texsport La Paz Hammock, and here is how it is described:
“It measures 40-by-120 inches (W x D), with a 75-inch bed length, and has a 300-pound weight limit.”
Made of cotton, and coming with its own carrying case, this is the best possible Christmas gift for Bow with a price tage of only a dollar and seventy-one cents. It’s the ideal hammock for someone who likes to destroy things! It’s priced so low, it’s practically disposable.
When we are trying to conserve resources, sometimes the most durable isn’t the best choice. Sometimes what will allow us to endure longer as a family is better.
In case you are considering getting a hammock for the chimp in your life, here are a few other choices:
Buyer beware! I went to order the hammock for $1.71 and it turned out they wanted over thirty dollars for shipping and handling! Instead, I chose the second cheapest hammock , the Grand Trunk Ultralight, which at $12.38 qualified for free shipping with another item.
Sounds like a useful and fun gift for Bow. I remember really wanting a hammock as a kid, but I never got one. Someone we knew had one, and I finally got to experience lying in a hammock. It was weird having to accustom yourself to balancing as you sleep, but you get used to it.
Thanks, Sweetbearies. Hammocks are a lot of fun for both kids and adults, and both Sword and Bow were exposed to them early on. My first hammock was one I got as an adult, right after getting my linguistics degree. I was trying to furnish my apartment as cheaply as possible, so I got a hammock with a stand for the living room, instead of a couch. All my guests got a real kick out of it.
Now that Bow has received his hammock as a Christmas gift, you can read all about it here:
http://notesfromthepens.blogspot.com/2011/12/bows-new-hammock.html